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How to Be a Big Sister

by Eliza Noel - Friday, October 04, 2019

A while back a friend asked for a post about being a big sister. In my current season of life, I like to consider myself a 'full-time big sister'. I still have a part time job and spend some time writing, but I'm home with siblings the majority of my time. It's kind of like training to one day be a stay-at-home mom. I'm not an expert, but being the oldest of nine kids I do have a lot of experience. Here are some tips for taking care of little siblings.

This picture is over a year old now.

  • Go phone-free. This isn't a rule I always follow, but I find that it's a good idea. I'll still keep my phone nearby with the ringtone on in case my mom needs to contact me. It's just best not to be staring at a screen when taking care of children. Make it clear that you value them more. If they are playing well without your constant guidance, and you feel like you should be doing something else while watching them, opt towards something like reading a book or journaling.
  • Play music. Most of the time music brightens toddler's moods. I love to shuffle play Steve Green (he sings Bible verses for kids), The Wiggles (their accents are amazing), or Raffi (a childhood classic). Sometimes you can even get a dance party started in the living room. Those are always adorable.


  • Find fun activities. When kids are bored they get in fights or whine. If they're having fun they'll be easier to take care of. Try to find fun activities to do with them or toys to play with. Keep their lives exciting and maybe even come up with a game they've never played.
  • Embrace their cuddly moods. If they're in the mood to snuggle, enjoy it. There's nothing that helps get rid of stress quite as well as a hug from a toddler, even if he's rubbing snot on your shoulder at the same time.
  • Pray for them. Life may be easy for them right now, but it is gonna get hard. Pray that they'll always keep their trust in Jesus. If they're hurt or scared take the time to pray for them out loud. One of my brother's had an earache the other day so I prayed for him. I couldn't even tell if he was paying attention, but later my mom told me he had told her about my prayer and that it meant a lot to him!
  • Take them to the park. Kids love to get out of the house and so do I. A trip to the park is always a fun way to pass the time watching them. Also, it means fresh air and exercise, both great things!
  • Include them in parts of your everyday routine, like working out. I didn't make it to the gym one morning so I decided to do a workout using an app on my phone. I invited the four littlest ones to join me and they had so much fun! It was literally the cutest thing. There were a few exercises where the littlest one flopped on top of me as if he thought I needed more weight to lift, but it was still so cute.

  • Turn chore time into quality time. Teach the little ones how to do everyday chores. Embrace that special stage where washing dishes is oh so fun and exciting! Take time while doing everyday tasks together to ask them questions. Children often have way more to say than we think!
  • Read to them. Plant a love for reading in their little hearts. It's never too early to start developing a love of literature! It's something that can benefit them for the rest of their lives. Find story books at the library or even try reading a chapter book to them a little bit at a time.
  • You are being productive. Often you may have what feels like a never-ending list of things to do, and then you get stuck taking care of siblings. Don't believe the lie that you're not being productive. You totally are. You're investing your time in caring for children who have eternal souls. Just about anything else on your to-do list can wait.
I hope this was helpful! What are some tips you have to share? Any funny little sibling stories?

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21 comments

  1. Camille IssaOctober 4, 2019 at 5:36 PM

    Awesome tips, Eliza! You’re going to make a great mother one day!! :D

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    1. Eliza NoelOctober 5, 2019 at 5:02 PM

      Aww thanks, Cam! <3

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  2. Danielle JagoOctober 4, 2019 at 6:43 PM

    I really love this post, Eliza!! I'm in a season of life where I'm working towards graduating from school (homeschool!) and I don't have a job - so the majority of my time is also spent around my siblings. So I can really relate with all of this! One of my favourite things to do is to read to my siblings. :) (I'm the fourth child of 9, and since the oldest ones have jobs, the 'big sister' role has passed on to me and my older sister!)

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    1. Eliza NoelOctober 7, 2019 at 11:26 AM

      Oh goodness, I remember that season. If yours is anything like mine it can be VERY crazy. That's awesome though! Enjoy every bit of time with your siblings and remember they won't always be this young and you won't always get to be around them this much. Yay for big families!!! Hahah, the fourth in my family had to step up and be 'big sister' back when I was working a lot. She did a fantastic job just as I'm sure you are!

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  3. Showers of BlessingsOctober 4, 2019 at 7:20 PM

    I love this list! I love spending time with my siblings! Although, my younger sister is only 4 years younger than me, so sometimes I wish we had younger kids running around! :) I think I'd love having baby baby sisters! <3
    -Brooklyne

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    1. Eliza NoelOctober 7, 2019 at 11:29 AM

      I'm so happy you like it, Brooklyne! Younger kids are definitely loads of fun! Having sisters semi-near your age is wonderful too <3

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  4. Eliza LeBlancOctober 5, 2019 at 5:16 AM

    This was such an encouraging read, Eliza! You touched on a few things that I really need to get better at. Thank you for writing it!! Haha, and by the way, reading this was super weird because it's like having my life and aspirations reflected in a mirror. It's like we're almost the same person 😱😜🤣.

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    1. Eliza NoelOctober 7, 2019 at 11:31 AM

      Eliza, it's honestly slightly terrifying how much we have in common O.o It's fun though, hahaha! Honestly, I still need to get better at most of these things too.

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  5. UnknownOctober 5, 2019 at 7:42 AM

    What a blessing to read this. Praying it inspires many, young and old, to look at time with littles as so valuable.

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    1. Eliza NoelOctober 7, 2019 at 11:34 AM

      I'm so happy it blessed you! Yes, I hope it does too.

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  6. AnonymousOctober 5, 2019 at 5:12 PM

    Eliza you sound like the perfect big sister. Your younger siblings are blessed to have you in their lives. God Bless.
    Marilyn

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    1. Eliza NoelOctober 7, 2019 at 11:34 AM

      I'm so very far from perfect, but thank you so much, Marilyn! :)

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  7. LilyOctober 6, 2019 at 8:11 PM

    These. Were. So. GOOD!!

    I have three brothers and am older than two of them, but I also babysit five little kids under ten regularly, so this was a GREAT help!! Thank you so much, Eliza! I really love all these tips! ^^

    xx

    ~ Lily Cat (Boots) | lilycatscountrygirlconfessions.blogspot.com

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    1. Eliza NoelOctober 7, 2019 at 11:38 AM

      Thank YOU!

      Wow, that's a lot of young children you're not related to to babysit, good job!

      I'm so glad you loved them <3

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  8. KassieOctober 7, 2019 at 6:05 AM

    This was so sweet!! I’m the oldest sister, and even though one of my brothers is 16 so everything’s not totally on me, this is still really relatable! And yes, toddlers working out... XD

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    1. Eliza NoelOctober 7, 2019 at 11:39 AM

      I have a 17 year old brother! So there are several 'older' little siblings, I was just focusing on the toddlers in this post, haha. Have you had the wonderful experience of working out with toddlers too??? xD

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  9. Evan MDOctober 7, 2019 at 7:41 AM

    Yes, being a sibling is definitely difficult, and important!!

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  10. Kara LynnOctober 7, 2019 at 3:33 PM

    Love this! Having five younger siblings I've had practice in the last 21 years of my life. I love being a big sister -- it has been one of my greatest joys.

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    1. Eliza NoelOctober 8, 2019 at 7:03 AM

      Yayyy for another experienced big sis 😄

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  11. Keturah LambOctober 10, 2019 at 12:54 AM

    These are great tips for babysitting too. Though instead of reading I usually knit or embroider while the children play. Dancing is fun, too, or doing gymnastics and seeing who can do the best back bend or splits ;) As the oldest of twelve, I feel like I should relate more to this post than I do ... because I've traveled so much these last few years I'm not as close with my little siblings as once, and also I don't help out that much when I'm home anymore either as I work full time and when I'm home I'm tired. So maybe I should take some tips from you still ;D

    MB> keturahskorner.blogspot.com
    PB> thegirlwhodoesntexist.com

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    1. Eliza NoelOctober 16, 2019 at 4:19 PM

      Ooh knitting and embroidery are good ideas too (if only I knew how to do either of those things...)! Hahah, you sound like me last year! And my life will probably be like that again soon. Honestly once us 'oldests' are adults how much we're home kinda fluctuates.

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believer | oldest of 9 children | 22 | author of the dawn chandler series | cali girl
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what i've read...

Replication: The Jason Experiment
Respectable Sins: Confronting the Sins We Tolerate
Donna Parker: A Spring to Remember
Orphan Island
The Mountain of the Wolf
Murder Simply Brewed
Strength for Parents of Missing Children: Surviving Divorce, Abduction, Runaways and Foster Care
Anne of Windy Poplars
The Flipside of Feminism: What Conservative Women Know—and Men Can't Say
Who Killed the American Family?
Resist
Life Just Got Real
A Royal Christmas Wedding
Almost Home
Boy Meets Girl: Say Hello to Courtship
The Hunchback of Notre-Dame
Chrissa Stands Strong
I Kissed Dating Goodbye
Storming
The Last Thing I Remember


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